I'm a Midwife and Health Visitor : Here's the One Thing New Parents Are Too Polite to Tell You

New research has revealed a growing tension between generations over parenting advice, and one leading midwife and health visitor says the findings don't surprise her one bit.

A study of 2,000 UK parents by baby brand Colief found that more than 70% received unsolicited advice in their child's first year, with half of that advice deemed unhelpful. The friction is prompting a generational shift in where parents turn for support, with 62% of Gen Z parents and 42% of millennials now using AI tools such as ChatGPT to navigate the early days of parenthood.

Angie Willis, midwife, health visitor and Colief ambassador, known as The Eco Midwife, says the findings reflect many conversations she has with new parents.

"What this research really tells us is that new parents are struggling to push back on well-meaning advice that doesn't always serve them, so they're finding other ways to cope," she says. "That's understandable, but it also highlights how much we need to talk more openly about what new parents actually need.”

Angie's top advice may be simple, but it carries real weight. First: avoid kissing a newborn and always wash your hands before cuddling or handling them.

"A newborn's immune system is still developing, and even a well-meaning kiss from someone who loves them can introduce viruses they're not yet able to fight off. When I teach antenatal classes, or when I have visited new families or provided postnatal care, this is one of the most important things I talk about with families, and yet new parents often feel too awkward to ask visiting relatives to follow this guidance.”

Her second piece of advice speaks directly to the research findings around family boundaries: don't arrive unannounced, even if you are a grandparent or close family member.

"The early days after birth are physically and emotionally exhausting in a way that's hard to describe unless you've lived it. An unannounced visit, however loving, can add enormous pressure at exactly the wrong moment. A simple text asking when a good time might be makes all the difference. For parents to be having these conversations during pregnancy with family or friends you think may turn up unannounced will help to set the expectations before birth."

Despite the rise of AI as a parenting resource, the research found that family remains the most trusted source of support, with a third of Gen Z parents (31%) still most likely to turn to relatives for advice, ahead of millennials (22%) and Gen X (21%).

"Family support is irreplaceable", says Angie. "But the way that support is offered needs to move with the times. Respecting boundaries and following basic health guidance isn't about keeping people out - it's about giving new parents and their babies the best possible start.”

"Parenting through the generations has evolved significantly. Many practices that were considered acceptable in the 70s, 80s, and 90s are now viewed as outdated and no longer appropriate. Thankfully, both parenting approaches and product innovation have progressed. Today, there is a much greater focus on safety, well-being, and convenience.”

The study was commissioned alongside the launch of Colief’s new Nappy Care Spray- a mess-free alternative to traditional creams designed to clean, protect and prevent nappy rash, and a practical example of how modern parenting solutions are keeping pace with changing needs.

The Eco Midwife's Top Tips for Visitors

* Avoid kissing a newborn in the early weeks - their immune system is still developing, and even a simple cold can be serious for a newborn baby.
* Always wash your hands before cuddling or handling them, without waiting to be asked.
* Never turn up unannounced - however close you are, always check in first and let the parents set the pace.
* Respect the boundaries of new parents in those early days; recovery takes time, and your support will mean far more when it's invited.
* Don't offer unsolicited advice - new parents are navigating an overwhelming time, and unless they ask, the kindest thing you can do is simply be present and listen.

Colief Nappy Care Spray is available from Amazon for £11.99.